By Caiden Elmer and Rachel Mancini, American University
What does it mean if my child is transgender?
Being transgender means that a person does not identify with the sex assigned to them at birth. It can refer to a person who was born with female sex organs but identifies with the masculine gender, or it can refer to a person who is born biologically male but identifies with the feminine gender. The majority of transgender people change their name and the pronoun used to refer to them so that their gender preference may be respected. Some transgender people take hormones or undergo surgeries so that their appearance will match their gender identity.
Does transgender mean the same thing as homosexual?
No. Transexual/transgender refers to a person’s gender identity or how one identifies with their own sense of gender, while homosexual refers to a type of sexual orientation. If your child is transgender, they can be heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.
What problems do transgender people face in Washington, D.C.?
Washington, D.C. has laws that prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. In spite of these laws, LGBT individuals often have problems finding jobs, and they may be discriminated against in the workplace or in school. Recently, the D.C. government announced that health insurance providers cannot deny access to transgender people receiving care within the city. This is a great step for the trans community, as transgender people now have access to certain medical treatments. There are also laws that permit individuals to change their name and gender on their ID. Even though the city of D.C. offers many benefits for transgender people, your child will most likely face discrimination and inequality. However, there are groups and resources that can help you and your child during this process.
How can I support my child?
- You should use the name and pronoun preferred by your child. It will be difficult to change the way in which you refer to your child, and your child will understand if you make mistakes. However, it is important that you use the language preferred by your child and that you correct yourself if you use the wrong name or pronoun.
- Your child may want to dress differently or change their body through surgery or hormones. Although you may not understand or agree with some of the changes that your child makes to their body, appearance will be very important to them. You can help by researching doctors who perform surgery or by accompanying your child to buy clothing that conforms to their gender identity.
- Your child will face many challenges in public, where differentiation between men and women occurs, in places such as public restrooms, school, and work, as well as in the legal system and in dealing with society’s general perception of transgender people. It is important to discuss how to respond to questions about their gender identity, not only to make sure that their gender is being respected, but also to ensure that they are safe.
- Let your child know that you are open to discuss these topics. You are not expected to understand everything; the most important thing is that you remain open and that you reassure your child that you love them.
- Talk to your child and see if there are other ways you can help them.
Readings and resources:
- The Phoenix: A Transgender Activist Rises
- National Center for Transgender Equality
- Human Rights Campaign
- PFLAG
