A Family Portrait

By Andrés Gómez-Peña | Posted on May 4, 2013

A Family Portrait from Andrés Gomez-Peña on Vimeo.

Click here to go the Spanish version of this video.

WASHINGTON, D.C., 04 May 2013 – Growing up can be rough, but growing up gay in the American South is even harder. Youth are disproportionately exposed to negative stereotypes about LGBT people, according to Jeffrey Gonzalez, a 31-year-old gay man from Fayetteville, N.C.

Gonzalez lived in North Carolina until 2003 earning a degree in Biostatistics at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Right after college he was accepted in to a Masters of Science program in Biostatistics at the University of Michigan, where he graduated in 2005.

After graduation he came back to North Carolina to pursue his doctorate studies in Mathematical Statistics at Chapel Hill. He also decided to come out to his devoted Catholic parents, Joseph and Barbara Gonzalez. “They didn’t take it well,” said Gonzalez.

Gonzalez decided to drop out of the program and move away from his parents looking for a new path up north in 2007. North Carolina didn’t feel like home anymore.

A Step in the Right Direction: The Nation’s Capital

Gonzalez landed a job as a Mathematical Statistician at the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, where he has worked since January 2007. Soon after starting his job at the Bureau, he began his doctorate in Survey Methodology at the University of Maryland College Park. He graduated in 2012.

The Nation’s Capital not only led Gonzalez to excellent professional opportunities, it allowed him to continue with one of his passions: running.

Gonzalez started running while in the Seventy-First High School in Fayetteville, NC. In February 2003 he ran his first marathon and has since then run 13.

In June 2007 Gonzalez joined the DC Front Runners, Washington, DC’s LGBT running club. For the first time he felt it was OK to be gay. He felt at home. Gonzalez rapidly became more and more involved with the group and within a year was elected to the club’s board.

It was at DC Front Runners, where he met the first gay couple that reminded him of his parents. It was then-54-year-old Lennie Carter and then-57-year-old Charlie Divan.

Lennie and Charlie: A Love Story

In the midst of all the controversy caused by the U.S. Supreme Court hearings on gay marriage, Carter and Divan celebrated 16 years of love and commitment.

Their love story began on March 27, 1997 when Divan and Carter decided to go on a first date after several conversations over the phone spanning two weeks.
Divan and Carter met for coffee and dessert at the iconic Trio Restaurant on 17th Street in Washington, D.C. It was love at first sight.

Immediately after their third date, Divan and Carter were officially in a relationship; in October 1997 Carter surprised Divan with a big proposal. He suggested they move in together.

What had seemed like a normal proposal for Carter, who had been in a 20-year-relationship with another man, was quite an unexpected proposition for Divan.

Divan had never been in a formal relationship like the one he was experiencing with Carter.

“Charlie didn’t even acknowledge my question, he just started hyperventilating. For three months he didn’t say anything [about my proposal] until one day in January while making muffins, he said ‘I do want to live together’” Six months later, in June of 1998, Divan and Carter bought their first home together, a 3-bedroom house in the Crestwood Area of Washington, D.C.

Since same-sex marriage was not recognized in Washington, D.C. at the time, and is still not recognized at the federal level in the United States, Divan and Carter have taken the necessary measures to ensure both are protected under the law in case of illness or death.

A Faith Shared Together

Although Divan was raised Catholic, Carter wasn’t. He became Catholic in 1999.

Carter sought to integrate his faith into their new life together. They initially struggled with the church’s view on gay marriage, but ultimately they were able to separate the church’s position on gay marriage from their own.

They go to Mass every Sunday at the Cathedral of St. Mathews the Apostle located on 17th Street and Rhode Island Ave. The priests and staff at St. Mathews are aware of their relationship and welcome them with open arms. Especially for their commitment as volunteers during Holy Week, which requires extra-man hours, according to Carter.

Incidentally, Holy Week typically coincides with their anniversary, and the couple sees this as an opportunity to celebrate both their faith and their relationship.

Leading by Example

Divan and Carter not only share love, a home, and commitment for each other, they also share a deep passion for long-distance running. Both have qualified several times for the Boston Marathon, the world’s oldest annual marathon, and have run the race together 9 times.

However, Carter was not always a runner. In fact, he had never run a race before meeting Divan. It was Divan’s life passion.
“In one of our first dates I asked Lennie if he liked running. Training for a marathon requires a lot of discipline and I had to make sure he didn’t mind being with someone who loved long-distance running,” Divan said.

In 1998 Carter joined Divan’s running group, the DC Front Runners. Soon they became leaders of the pack when were elected running coordinators of the club. They served the club for five years.

Carter and Divan left a legacy to the club by establishing a running circuit; a legacy continued by Gonzalez. Every year the club awards all members who have completed 12 races. The circuit takes into account the age of the runners and the distance of the race.

This running couple is deeply admired by the club, they are the role models of the younger generations of Front Runners. “They were my first exposure to a gay couple that was exactly like my parents. They made me believe that I could have what my parents had,” said Gonzalez.